150 Funny Friendship Quotes That Make You Laugh
Discover 150 hilarious funny friendship quotes that celebrate the beautiful, chaotic, and witty side of true friendship. Perfect for best friends and social captions.
Last week, my best friend and I were trying to assemble a piece of furniture that supposedly took “twenty minutes.” Three hours later, we were surrounded by leftover screws, a lopsided bookshelf, and tears of laughter. That’s the thing about real friendship—it’s not always pretty, but it’s always hilarious.
I’ve found that the best friends are the ones who don’t just tolerate your weirdness; they join in on it. These funny friendship quotes capture those moments of shared absurdity that make life so much better. Whether you’re looking for the perfect Instagram caption or just a quick laugh to share with your bestie, these words have you covered.
Here are 150 powerful and funny quotes to celebrate the people who know exactly how crazy you are and still choose to be seen with you in public.
Short Funny Friendship Quotes for Daily Laughs
Sometimes the most hilarious truths about our friends are the ones that are short and sweet. I’ve often found that a quick, witty remark can turn a stressful day into a comedy show. These bite-sized pieces of wisdom remind us that we don’t need a lot of words to describe the chaos of a good friendship.
“If your friends don’t make fun of you, they’re not really your friends.” — Unknown
This is the golden rule of friendship in my book. If there isn’t a constant stream of gentle roasting, is it even a real bond?
“I love you because we hate the same stuff.” — Unknown
There is something uniquely bonding about finding someone who shares your specific pet peeves and irrational dislikes.
“Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.” — Thomas Jones
A slightly cynical but funny reminder that maintaining friendships actually takes effort, unlike making enemies.
“Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.” — Samuel Butler
It’s easy to meet people, but finding the ones who stay through the lopsided furniture assembly is the real trick.
“Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?” — Abraham Lincoln
A classic piece of wit from Honest Abe that shows humor has always been a part of great leadership and connection.
“You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.” — Harry S. Truman
Sometimes, even presidents realize that human friendship can be a bit more complicated than a loyal pup.
“A true friend stabs you in the front.” — Oscar Wilde
Wilde’s sharp wit reminds us that real friends are honest to your face, even when the truth is a little sharp.
“Friends are the bacon bits in the salad bowl of life.” — Unknown
Everything is better with bacon, and everything in life is better when you have a friend to share the “salad” with.
“I’d take a nerf bullet for you.” — Unknown
True devotion is measured in foam projectiles and low-stakes heroism.
“I love my phone because all my friends live inside it.” — Unknown
A very 2026 sentiment—our best friends are often just a pocket away, ready to send a meme at any moment.
“You had me at ‘I hate her too.’” — Unknown
The start of many great friendships is often a shared observation about someone else’s questionable choices.
“We put down our wine for this.” — Unknown
The ultimate sacrifice for a friend: pausing the relaxation to deal with whatever emergency they’ve managed to create.
“You suck less than most people.” — Unknown
High praise in the world of modern friendship where sarcasm is the primary language.
“I’m the friend you have to explain before you introduce me.” — Unknown
We all have that one friend (or we are that friend) who comes with a mandatory “don’t mind them” warning.
“Best friends don’t care if your house is clean. They care if you have wine.” — Unknown
Real friends see the laundry pile and just move it to the side so they can sit down and talk.
Hilarious Best Friend Quotes for Instagram Captions
Finding the right words for a social media post can be harder than the actual photo shoot. When I’m looking for friendship quotes for best friends, I want something that shows our bond without being too “mushy.” These captions are designed to highlight the humor in your relationship while making your followers smile.
“We’ve been friends for so long I can’t remember which one of us is the bad influence.” — Unknown
This is the story of my life. Usually, it’s a collaborative effort where we both encourage each other’s questionable ideas.
“Good friends don’t let you do stupid things… alone.” — Unknown
The hallmark of a best friend is their willingness to participate in your bad ideas just so you don’t look foolish by yourself.
“Real friendship is when your friend comes over to your house and then you both just take a nap.” — Unknown
There is no higher level of comfort than being able to sleep in the same room as someone without it being awkward.
“I think we’ll be friends forever because we’re too lazy to find new friends.” — Unknown
Sometimes loyalty is just a very efficient form of exhaustion, and that’s perfectly okay.
“You and I are more than friends. We’re like a really small gang.” — Unknown
A “gang” of two that mostly just robs the local bakery of its best sourdough is still a gang in my eyes.
“Best friends: They know how crazy you are and still choose to be seen with you in public.” — Unknown
Public association is the ultimate test of friendship, especially when one of you is wearing pajamas in the grocery store.
“When our phones fall we panic. When our friends fall, we laugh.” — Unknown
Priority management is key. The phone is fragile; the friend is (usually) resilient and hilarious when they trip.
“I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.” — Unknown
The goal of every funny text message is to cause a minor, humorous public accident.
“If I send you my ugly selfies, our friendship is real.” — Unknown
The “ugly selfie” is the modern equivalent of a blood oath. It shows total trust and zero ego.
“No one will ever be as entertained by us as us.” — Unknown
If you’re laughing at your own jokes together, you’ve already won at friendship.
“Life is better with friends, especially when they bring wine.” — Unknown
A practical addition to any friendship: a consistent supply of good beverages and better conversation.
“We don’t need a filter, just group therapy.” — Unknown
Sometimes a night out with friends feels less like a party and more like a collective decompression session.
“I was an innocent being once… then my best friend came along.” — Unknown
We all have that one person who corrupted our once-pure intentions with the promise of adventure and snacks.
“You’re basically my favorite person of all time — aside from myself.” — Unknown
Healthy self-love paired with high-quality friendship is the recipe for a happy life.
“We go together like coffee and donuts.” — Unknown
One provides the energy, the other provides the sweetness—together they are a perfect morning.
Witty Friendship Sayings About Crazy Adventures
The best stories usually start with a friend saying, “Trust me, I have an idea.” Looking back, those ideas were usually terrible, but they made for the best memories. Sharing these experiences builds a foundation of quotes about life and happiness that we carry with us forever.
“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.” — Groucho Marx
Groucho’s surreal humor captures the absurdity that often defines our closest relationships.
“It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.” — Marlene Dietrich
The 4 a.m. friend is a rare breed. They might yell at you for waking them up, but they’ll still listen to your crisis.
“A good friend will help you move. But a best friend will help you move a dead body.” — Jim Hayes
A classic hyperbole that perfectly illustrates the “no questions asked” policy of true besties.
“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” — Oprah Winfrey
Oprah reminds us that the best adventures are the ones where things go wrong, but you’re with the right people.
“I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell – you see, I have friends in both places.” — Mark Twain
Twain’s legendary wit suggests that a good social circle should be diverse enough to cover all possible afterlives.
“The capacity for friendship is God’s way of apologizing for our families.” — Jay McInerney
Friends are the family we choose, often to balance out the family we were given.
“Most of us don’t need a psychiatric therapist as much as a friend to be silly with.” — Robert Brault
Silliness is a profound form of healing. Never underestimate the power of a shared “inside joke.”
“It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like, ‘What about lunch?’” — A.A. Milne
Pooh’s wisdom is timeless. The best adventures are often just a short walk to the nearest sandwich shop.
“Friendship is so weird… You just pick a human you’ve met and you’re like ‘Yep, I like this one’ and you just do stuff with them.” — Unknown
When you think about it, the process of making friends is hilariously random and beautiful.
“There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends.” — Sylvia Plath
Plath captures the raw, unglamorous reality of shared experiences that forge lifelong bonds.
“Knowledge cannot replace friendship. I’d rather be an idiot than lose you.” — Patrick Star
Even in Bikini Bottom, they understand that being a “weirdo” together is better than being smart and alone.
“We’ll always be friends ‘til we’re old and senile… then we can be new friends.” — Unknown
The ultimate backup plan for a lifelong friendship: just hitting the reset button every morning.
“If you have crazy friends, you have everything you’ll ever need.” — Unknown
Normal is boring. Give me the friends who want to go on a road trip with twenty minutes’ notice any day.
“Friendship is a wildly underrated medication.” — Anna Deavere Smith
A good laugh with a friend can often do more for your health than any prescription.
“The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
Forget the expensive furniture; the best decor is the group of friends sitting on the floor eating pizza.
Sarcastic Quotes About True Friendship and Loyalty
Sarcasm is often the love language of best friends. If we aren’t insulting each other, are we even friends? I find that these sarcastic remarks actually show a deep level of trust—you have to know someone really well to know exactly how to poke fun at them. This kind of bond is as strong as any motivational success quotes you’ll find.
“A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success.” — Doug Larson
It takes a real friend to not be at least a little jealous when you finally get that promotion or find the perfect parking spot.
“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
Emerson knew that the longevity of a friendship is measured by how comfortable you are being a complete moron.
“It’s important to our friends to believe that we are unreservedly frank with them, and important to the friendship that we are not.” — Mignon McLaughlin
A hilarious take on the “social white lies” that keep every long-term friendship functioning smoothly.
“Friends give you a shoulder to cry on. But best friends are ready with a shovel to hurt the person that made you cry.” — Unknown
Loyalty in its most aggressive—and funniest—form. We all need a “shovel friend” in our corner.
“I will text you 50 times in a row and feel no shame. You’re my friend, you literally signed up for this.” — Unknown
Friendship is a contract that includes a clause for “unlimited and often annoying digital communication.”
“Love is blind; friendship tries not to notice.” — Otto von Bismarck
The hallmark of a great friend is their ability to see your terrible haircut and say, “It’s unique!”
“We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up… after I finish laughing.” — Unknown
The laughter comes first, but the help is guaranteed. That’s the unspoken agreement.
“You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.” — Laurence J. Peter
A true friend knows that your current embarrassing moment is just a temporary state of being.
“I can tell by your sarcastic undertones, rude comments, and sheer lack of common decency that we should be best friends.” — Unknown
Sometimes you meet someone and their level of “mean-but-funny” just perfectly matches your own.
“Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend’s success.” — Oscar Wilde
Wilde’s insight into the “green-eyed monster” reminds us that celebrating others is a true sign of character.
“One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention.” — Clifton Fadiman
The “silent understanding” is where the real depth—and often the funniest looks—reside.
“Friendship must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.” — Unknown
The four pillars of a relationship that can withstand any storm (or at least any boring party).
“She knows where the bodies are. In fact, she helped bury a few.” — Unknown
Another classic “true crime” friendship joke that highlights the “ride or die” nature of besties.
“True friends don’t judge each other. They judge other people together.” — Unknown
Shared judgment of the world’s absurdities is the glue that holds many great bonds together.
“When I said how stupid you can be, it wasn’t a challenge.” — Unknown
The kind of thing you can only say to someone you truly love and have known for at least a decade.
Funny Friendship Quotes for Women and Besties
The bond between “besties” often involves a unique blend of high-energy support and brutal honesty. I’ve seen friendships where two people can communicate entire paragraphs just by raising an eyebrow across a room. This level of connection is a beautiful form of inspirational quotes about kindness in action.
“Friendship is not possible between two women, one of whom is very well dressed.” — Laurie Colwin
A funny, if slightly dated, take on the competitive nature that can sometimes sneak into even the best relationships.
“Two people are never such good friends as when they share a mutual dislike of a third person.” — Unknown
The “common enemy” strategy is remarkably effective for building instant rapport.
“Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.” — Robert Louis Stevenson
A humorous reminder that at its core, a good marriage is just a friendship with better paperwork.
“The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn’t exist.” — Aaron Machado
A brilliant bit of surreal humor that captures the feeling of being the “weird one” in any group.
“If you are lucky enough to find a weirdo, never let them go.” — Unknown
Weirdness is a rare and precious resource. If you find someone who matches your frequency, hold on tight.
“There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.” — Linda Grayson
Practical wisdom. Chocolate is the universal currency of “I’m sorry” and “I’m happy for you.”
“All you need to do to be my friend is like me.” — Taylor Swift
Taylor’s simple requirement reminds us that sometimes, we overcomplicate what it means to just be “on someone’s side.”
“I’ll stick to finding the funny in the ordinary because my life is pretty ordinary and so are the lives of my friends—and my friends are hilarious.” — Issa Rae
Issa Rae reminds us that the best comedy isn’t on a stage; it’s in the group chat at 11 p.m. on a Tuesday.
“She’s my friend because we both know what it’s like to have people be jealous of us.” — Cher Horowitz, Clueless
Confidence and friendship go hand-in-hand, especially when you both think you’re “totally buggin’.”
“Women’s friendships are like a renewable source of power.” — Jane Fonda
A more serious note from Jane, but anyone who has had a “girl’s night” knows the sheer energy it can generate.
“True friends are families which you can select.” — Audrey Hepburn
Audrey’s elegant take on the “family of choice” reminds us that we have the power to curate our own support system.
“My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me… and the crazy.” — Unknown
The best friends are the ones who encourage you to reach your goals while also encouraging you to eat the extra slice of cake.
“We’ll be the old ladies causing trouble in the nursing home.” — Unknown
The ultimate goal for any “bestie” relationship: lifelong mischief and shared memories.
“We all have that one friend who never learned how to whisper.” — Unknown
Every group has a “loud one” who broadcasts your private conversations to the entire restaurant. We love them anyway.
“Our friendship is like this caption: totally unnecessary but greatly appreciated.” — Unknown
A perfect meta-commentary on the digital age of friendship and social media.
Relatable Quotes About Friendship and Food
If you aren’t bonding over a shared love of pizza or an irrational hatred of cilantro, are you even trying? Some of my best conversations have happened while staring at a menu. For more insights into how these simple moments define us, you can explore Woman’s Day collection of funny friendship quotes.
“Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.” — Robert Bloch
A gross but undeniably accurate metaphor for the internal joy of a close connection.
“Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.” — Greg Tamblyn
The “anyway” is the most important part of that sentence. It implies a lot of shared meals and questionable choices.
“Friend is someone to share the last cookie with.” — Cookie Monster
The ultimate sacrifice. If someone gives you the last Oreo, they are legally required to be your best friend for life.
“Come at once if convenient. If inconvenient, come all the same.” — Arthur Conan Doyle
The Sherlockian way of saying “I’ve ordered appetizers, and you need to get here before they get cold.”
“There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends.” — Sylvia Plath
Plath returns to remind us that the most unglamorous moments often create the strongest bonds.
“One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.” — Euripides
Ancient wisdom that still holds up—one person who will bring you soup when you’re sick is worth a whole family tree of distant cousins.
“The only thing tighter than our friendship is our jeans.” — Unknown
A relatable struggle for any group of friends who considers “brunch” a competitive sport.
“Best friends: ready to die for each other, but will fight over the last slice of pizza.” — Unknown
High-stakes loyalty meets low-stakes hunger. It’s a delicate balance.
“You’re the only person I don’t mind sharing my snacks with.” — Unknown
In a world of “get your own,” this is the highest form of romantic or platonic love.
“Life is better with friends, especially when they bring wine.” — Unknown
A recurring theme because, let’s be honest, it’s a very effective strategy for maintaining long-term bonds.
“We’ll always be friends… because you know too much.” — Unknown
The “blackmail” theory of friendship—staying together because the alternative is a very public trial.
“Sometimes, being silly with a friend is the best therapy.” — Unknown
Laughter is calorie-free (unlike the pizza we’re usually eating while laughing).
“You drink too much, swear too much, and have questionable morals. You’re everything I ever wanted in a friend.” — Unknown
The “perfect” friend is often the one who is just as “imperfect” as you are.
“A good friend knows all your best stories. A best friend has lived them with you.” — Unknown
And they’ve probably already started telling the version of the story where you look the most ridiculous.
“I hope we’re friends until we die. Then, I hope we stay ghost friends and walk through walls and scare people.” — Unknown
The afterlife plan: eternal mischief and haunting your mutual enemies together.
Humorous Friendship Lessons About Growing Old Together
There’s something uniquely funny about looking at a friend and realizing you’ve both become the “boring adults” you used to make fun of. But even as we age, the humor remains. For more on the wisdom of long-term bonds, check out YourTango’s best friend humor and Reader’s Digest on friendship wit.
“No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.” — Groucho Marx
A brutal but hilarious truth about the small bit of “schadenfreude” that exists in even the tightest circles.
“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.” — Bernard Meltzer
We’re all a little broken; a good friend just thinks the cracks make you more interesting.
“One sure way to lose another woman’s friendship is to try to improve her flower arrangements.” — Unknown
A funny reminder that even in old age, we have our “territories” that friends must respect.
“A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they’re not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad.” — Arnold H. Glasgow
The “pity laugh” is a vital tool in any long-term friendship’s survival kit.
“Friends make you smile — best friends make you giggle ‘til you pee your pants.” — Unknown
As we get older, this becomes less of a metaphor and more of a medical concern.
“You’re mad. Bonkers. Off your head. But I’ll tell you a secret: Some of the best people are.” — Lewis Carroll
A reminder from Wonderland that sanity is overrated and being “bonkers” with friends is the goal.
“Let’s face it. The only reason we’re friends is because no one else wanted us. But I wouldn’t change a thing.” — Unknown
The “island of misfit toys” approach to social circles—it’s cozy here, even if it’s a bit crowded.
“Good friends will mourn your death; best friends will come and clean your computer history immediately after you die.” — Unknown
The ultimate act of loyalty: protecting your digital reputation after you’ve shuffled off this mortal coil.
“Remember that the most valuable antiques are dear old friends.” — H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
A sweet sentiment with a funny edge—we’re all just becoming more “valuable” (and dusty) with every passing year.
“One’s friends are that part of the human race with which one can be human.” — George Santayana
Being “human” usually involves a lot of complaining about back pain and the price of eggs.
“True friendship is when you walk into their house and your WiFi connects automatically.” — Unknown
The modern benchmark for “making it.” If I don’t have to ask for the password, we are family.
“I love that I don’t have to act socially acceptable around you.” — Unknown
The transition from “polite acquaintance” to “friend who sees you in your worst sweatpants” is the best journey.
“Good friends don’t let you do stupid things alone. They join in and make it twice as fun.” — Unknown
This doesn’t stop as you get older; the “stupid things” just involve more physical therapy.
“A true friend is someone who never gets tired of listening to your pointless dramas over and over again.” — Unknown
Patience is the greatest gift an old friend can give. That, and a very large glass of wine.
“Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend.” — Sarah Dessen
A final, sincere note: find your “weirdo,” keep them close, and never stop laughing at each other.
Funny Friendship Quotes for Work and Office Buddies
Surviving a 9-to-5 is significantly easier when you have a “work spouse” to exchange looks with during long meetings. I’ve found that some of my most loyal friendships started over a shared frustration with the office printer or a mutual love for Friday afternoon coffee runs. For more relatable insights on professional bonds, The Muse offers a great collection of quotes that perfectly capture the office experience. These quotes celebrate the people who make the professional world a little more tolerable.
-
“Work is much better when you have a friend to complain with.” — Unknown A shared eye-roll is the ultimate bonding experience in any corporate environment.
-
“A work friend is someone who knows exactly which meetings could have been an email.” — Unknown They are the silent partners in your daily quest for productivity and sanity.
-
“We’re friends because we both hate the same coworkers.” — Unknown Nothing builds a bond faster than a common enemy in the cubicle next door.
-
“I only come to work for the snacks and the gossip with you.” — Unknown The social aspect of the office is often the only thing keeping us from hitting the “snooze” button forever.
-
“Work bestie: The person who keeps you from quitting every single Tuesday.” — Unknown Tuesdays are notoriously difficult; having a teammate makes the mountain feel like a molehill.
-
“My office friend is the only one who knows my true ‘meeting’ face.” — Unknown That specific look of concentrated interest that is actually just a daydream about lunch.
-
“Friends don’t let friends go to the breakroom alone.” — Unknown Safety in numbers is a vital strategy when the free donuts are announced.
-
“We go together like coffee and Monday mornings.” — Unknown A necessary combination for survival in the modern workplace.
-
“A true work friend is one who tells you when you have food in your teeth before a big presentation.” — Unknown This is the highest form of professional loyalty and care.
-
“Our friendship is the only thing on my resume that actually matters.” — Unknown The skills are replaceable; the connections are the real career win.
-
“I’m so glad we work together so I have someone to judge everyone with.” — Unknown Collaborative observation is a very refined and necessary workplace skill.
-
“Work is just a place I go to wait for my next conversation with you.” — Unknown The tasks are secondary to the high-quality banter.
-
“You’re the reason I haven’t ‘replied all’ with my honest opinion yet.” — Unknown A good friend acts as a filter for our most impulsive professional urges.
-
“Best friends: The ones who can communicate an entire HR violation with just one look.” — Unknown Non-verbal communication is the secret language of a great office bond.
-
“I’d follow you to any company, as long as they have a good coffee machine.” — Unknown Loyalty follows the person, not the logo.
Hilarious Deep Friendship Quotes for the Weirdos
Real friendship is about finding someone whose brand of “crazy” perfectly complements your own. I’ve always felt that the people who see your strangest habits and decide to join in are the ones worth keeping forever. These quotes are for the kindred spirits who have moved past “normal” and into the beautiful territory of shared absurdity.
-
“I think we’ll be friends forever because we’re both too weird for anyone else.” — Unknown Exclusivity based on mutual strangeness is a very solid foundation for a bond.
-
“Friendship is finding the person you can be annoying with.” — Unknown Being able to be your most irritating self without judgment is the ultimate freedom.
-
“I love that I can be completely silent with you and it’s not awkward, just weird.” — Unknown The transition from “comfortable silence” to “shared weird silence” is a major milestone.
-
“We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up… after I finish laughing and recording it.” — Unknown Documenting the disaster is a vital part of the supportive process.
-
“You’re the only person I’d share my search history with. Just kidding, no one sees that.” — Unknown There are limits to every friendship, even the ones built on total weirdness.
-
“If you were a bird, I’d fly with you. If you were a fish, I’d swim with you. If you were a weirdo… wait, you already are.” — Unknown Acceptance of the present reality is the first step toward a deep connection.
-
“My best friend is the one who knows exactly which meme will ruin my life in the best way.” — Unknown Digital curation is the modern love language of the “weirdo” tribe.
-
“We go together like ‘copy’ and ‘paste’ — redundant but necessary.” — Unknown A funny take on the synchronicity that often happens between best friends.
-
“I hope we’re friends until we’re old enough to cause trouble in the retirement home.” — Unknown The long-term goal for every eccentric pair of besties.
-
“A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg even if you’re slightly cracked.” — Unknown The cracks are where the light—and the humor—gets in.
-
“I’d take a bullet for you, but I’d definitely complain about it for the next fifty years.” — Unknown Loyalty with a side of lifelong nagging is the most authentic form of friendship.
-
“You’re my favorite person to be socially awkward with.” — Unknown Hiding in the corner of a party is much more fun when you have a teammate.
-
“We’ve been friends for so long I can’t remember which one of us is the bad influence.” — Unknown It’s a collaborative descent into mischief.
-
“If anyone saw our group chat, we’d probably be in a padded room together.” — Unknown The digital record of a friendship is often the most hilariously incriminating evidence.
-
“You’re the only one I can be truly ‘unhinged’ with.” — Unknown Exhaling the internal chaos is only safe with the right person.
Witty Quotes on the Chaos of Long-Term Friendship
The longer you know someone, the more “incriminating evidence” you have on them. I’ve found that my oldest friends are the ones I’m most careful to keep happy, purely because they know where all the metaphorical bodies are buried. These final quotes celebrate the messy, beautiful, and slightly dangerous reality of knowing someone for decades.
-
“Friendship is like a bank account. You can’t keep taking out without putting something in.” — Unknown A practical reminder that even the funniest bonds require consistent investment.
-
“We’ll be friends ‘til we’re old and senile, then we can be new friends.” — Unknown The “reset button” strategy for eternal companionship.
-
“A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they’re not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad.” — Arnold H. Glasgow Grace is the secret ingredient in the recipe for a long-term bond.
-
“The only thing tighter than our friendship is our jeans after brunch.” — Unknown Shared culinary adventures are a vital part of the long-term history.
-
“Best friends: they know how crazy you are and still choose to be seen with you in public.” — Unknown Public association is the ultimate test of endurance for any friendship.
-
“I don’t need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better.” — Plutarch A true friend provides the friction that helps us grow over time.
-
“Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief.” — Joseph Addison The math of a decade-long bond is always in favor of the heart.
-
“There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.” — Linda Grayson Shared snacks are the universal currency of long-term loyalty.
-
“Friends are the siblings God never gave us.” — Mencius The chosen family is often the one that survives the most “seasons” of our lives.
-
“True friendship is a plant of slow growth and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity.” — George Washington Even presidents knew that the “chaos” of time only makes a bond more resilient.
-
“Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend.” — Sarah Dessen The world is a lot less intimidating when you have a permanent teammate.
-
“A good friend will always stab you in the front.” — Oscar Wilde The brutal honesty of an old friend is more valuable than the soft lies of a new acquaintance.
-
“It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.” — Marlene Dietrich The “emergency contact” status is the highest honor in the world of friendship.
-
“No road is long with good company.” — Turkish Proverb The journey matters so much less than the people walking alongside you.
-
“A true friend is a forever friend.” — George MacDonald Ending on the most important truth: real loyalty has no expiration date.
Through all the lopsided bookshelves and 4 a.m. crises, it’s the laughter that sticks. These funny friendship quotes are more than just punchlines—they’re the soundtrack to our best memories. So go ahead, send that “ugly selfie” or share that “unnecessary caption.” Life is too short to be serious, especially when you have a best friend to be ridiculous with.